Tales of a Tauren and an Elf
by otherworldychaos
Summary: Join Ranglor and Zazzmirax as they journey through Azeroth trying to make sense of this strange game they got themselves into, all the while causing anarchy and mayhem. R&R some nice reviews!


Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own Blizzard, Tauren, Night Elves, or any other creatures of Warcraft. But I own the two characters that I'm putting in the story, Ranglor and Zazzmirax. But you know that…

In the world of Azeroth, two legends will be born. A Tauren, named Ranglor, who looks to become a warrior. And a Night Elf, named Zazzmirax who seeks to become a hunter. This is their story. A story of epic proportions! A story of excitement, adventure and…ah forget it. They're just two hopelessly bumbling idiots. As they move about Azeroth, we will follow them and see how their adventure goes…although I'm not sure why…

There was a sudden flash of light. A gasp followed by irregular breaths. Ranglor had been born.

"Ugh, my head," he groaned as he clutched his head and teetered to one side.

Another flash of light and Zazzmirax was born.

"Dude, my head," the Night Elf whined as he too stood from where he was lying.

They both took a look at their surroundings, surveying the strange new land called Mulgore.

"The graphics aren't as good as I thought they would be," said Ranglor, poking at the NPC near them.

"What brings you here?" the NPC exclaimed making Ranglor jump a bit.

"Oh, just playing a game and stuff on my computer, the usual," Ranglor said, regaining his composure. "You don't happen to have any of these so called, quests, do you?"

The NPC said nothing, but a piece of parchment beside appeared and started writing text on itself.

"Oook then," Ranglor mumbled. "Hey Zazzmirax, what are y-, Oh my God, stop doing the dance emote! You're gonna make all the little Tauren infants cry! And you're gonna make me sick."

"But how?" he exclaimed as he twirled on one foot. "What's wrong with me dancing?"

Ranglor shuffled his feet a little and then finally said "Well your dancing exactly like Michael Jackson."

Zazzmirax immediately stopped and shuddered at what he was just doing.

"What's your dance supposed to be then? Show me," Zazzmirax demanded.

The Tauren warrior started to shake his booty and do other dancing crap.

"It kinda looks like MC Hammer or something," Zazz muttered.

"I'll go check the quest guy and see if he's finished writing and whatever," Ranglor said and walked over to the NPC. "Yeah he's done. He says to find some wild boar meat to feed the village and stuff."

"Why do Taurens even eat meat? Aren't they basically cows? And aren't cows vegetarians? Do Tauren even have four stomachs like a regular cow? And why oh wh-"

Suddenly an explosion shook the camp. A head of a Tauren fell out of the sky and was caught by Ranglor.

"Oh thanks a lot Mr. Elf Michael Jackson," said the head angrily. "Your logic was too much for my tiny brain to contemplate so my head exploded! You will suffer the wrath of Timmy Jim!" screamed the head as it hopped out of Ranglors hands and hopped towards Zazz.

"Oh God help me!" screamed Zazz as he was chased by the disembodied head.

Ranglor sighed and sat on the stone in the middle of camp until the head got close to him. With all his Tauren strength he kicked the head to someplace or another.

"I will be back for my revenge!" Jim managed to shout before he became lost to sight.

"Thanks…"Zazz managed to say as he collapsed on the ground exhausted.

"Ok let's go ahead and do that quest for the random NPC person so we can get stuff. Now, we're in Camp Narache aren't we? So we have to go…that way," Ranglor said, pointing into the direction of the Red Cloud Mesa. "That should be where those Quillboars are."

"You mean Warthogs?" Zazz corrected.

"No I mean Quillboars," Ranglor said.

"Warthogs"

"Quillboars"

"Warthog!"

"Quillboar!"

As the two walk towards to where the Quillboar/Warthogs are, an unnamed evil watches them from atop a distant hill top. This evil so horrible, your flesh will melt off your armpits. Well, not really…but it would be cool to have an evil character evil enough to have your skin melt off your armpits. Well, look in next week for the next chapter of the story and what not.

Chaos: So what did you think of my story huh? If you didn't like the first chapter that much, wait until the second chapter. It should be better and longer. Just pray that it will actually be like that. I will not disappoint my fan base! Oh wait I don't have one…damn! But all you nice people can give me good reviews! Bad reviews aren't exactly welcome but whatever, I don't care.

Note: Ranglor and Zazzmirax are actual characters that me and a friend made sometime ago. Mine is Ranglor and the other one is obviously my friend's. Oh and if anyone is questioning why a Night Elf is in Mulgore, it's just a little plot hole so don't get worked up about it.


End file.
